real art

Some stencils by yours truly.
My friend Hon will cry when he sees how superior my stencils are. Big hups to Deviant, whose tree and grass stencils complimented the Ghostrider perfectly. It was a pleasure working with ya.

These were done way back in January, but I just found the pics on Stencil Revolution.

i am hip

I went to the Vice magazine party last weekend. Boy, did I have a sucky time there. Maybe it was partly because I was sober and didn't know anyone, but I think it was largely because of all the fucking hipsters.

I've resigned myself to being an outsider forever. Redheads just don't get to be cool. I've moved on. So my jealousy and covetousness is being slowly transformed into resentment. Okay, so I haven't moved on at all.

If you're a fan of Vice magazine, you might be interested in this article. Apparently it was a subtle pisstake, but with elements of truth. A couple of people have said I should try writing for Vice. It would be ace, but I have this nagging guilt about not caring about the right wing stuff. I mean, it's so clearly retarded that you'd have to be dumb to take it seriously.

Radiohead's depiction of a postmodern deconstruction of the pointlessness of life in this uptown world living with an uptown girl with a backstreet guy.

I'm beginning to worry about my sense of humour. Right now I find homophobia to be the funniest thing ever. My big thing at the moment is the inappropriate use of the word "gay". It's just funny. The thing is, no-one else seems to find it absurd. I might say something like, "those curtains are gay." Then I laugh my arse off. But then I hear people describe something as gay and no-one bats an eyelid. It's toally bizarre.

In other news, my review of Radiohead's OK Computer seems to have stirred Sydney. The Brag has only been out for a day, and already I've recieved one hate mail and two fan mails. If I can't have fame, I'll settle for infamy.

Radiohead
OK Computer
EMI/Parlophone
1/2 out of 5

As I’m fond of saying, Radiohead are about as fun as a public miscarriage. Thanks to their aborted national tour, over the past couple of weeks I’ve had many vacant eyed drug addicts tell me how Thom Yorke changed their lives by making it okay to look like a mink crushed by a forklift.

This “classic” album from 1997 sounds like it was put together by cheerless goths hastily constructing their last minute HSC drama piece. The height of Radiohead’s pretentious songtitles has to be ‘Exit Music (For A Film)’. Ooh, they used brackets. How impressive! The song itself sounds like a James Blundell and James Reyne duet played at half speed by drunken amputees with buckets for replacement limbs.

Then there is the sleeve of this album, obviously put together by art school wankers. The graphics were covered in so much scribble it looked like the inside of a 4-year-old’s first Little Golden Book, and the lyrics had so many typos they were indecipherable. Whatever, girlfriend!

Let me be the first to announce that the Emperor has no clothes. All their bohemian babble is just a smokescreen to distract listeners from the fact that Thom Yorke is a whiny loser.

The Word Is N*E*R*D*

I interviewed Shae Hayley from supergroup NERD the other day. It's surreal. Here I am, on the dole and kicking back at home interveiwing international glitterati. Anyway, this isn't the full transcript. I'll probably publish the full thing in my next zine. Keep an eye out.

Did you go to school with Pharrell and Chad?

Naw, me and Pharrell went to school together. Actually, Pharrell and Chad went to school together too. They went to middle school together. Me and Pharrell went to high school together. They went to a magnaschool. A school for gifted and artistic kids.

What’s your role in the band?

Vocalist slash writer.

What song off Fly or Die did you have the most trouble completing?

‘Preservation,’ the song after ‘Drill Sergeant.’

Ah, that’s one of the hidden tracks on the album. Why hide them?

We wanted a total of twelve songs, man. We wanted to make it short and sweet. Not only that, we love to give people and our fans more for their money. Ordinarily, you’re like, “shit. Only twelve songs?” Sometimes. But then you’re looking through the record and you find, like, four hidden songs and you’re like “Oh shit!” Then you wander, “Yo, what’s the name of this song?” I had a couple of people come up to me and they were like “Yo, there was a song that I heard, but every time I go to that number it won’t play.” And I have to tell them there are hidden tracks on that album

What are you favourite tracks off the album?

‘The Way She Dances,’ that’s track eleven, and ‘Backseat Love.’ ‘The Way She Dance,’ I love the chord change, I love the change on the bass of the song. It’s so fucking crazy.

You’re primarily known as a studio band. How do you go playing live?

We’ve all been musicians first. Chad and Pharrell, they’re trained, classically trained. I came up hearing drums, you know. But a lot of my favourite records were done live. I’ve always been moved by live instrumentation, man.

SHAE INTERVIEWS ME ABOUT AUSTRALIA

Shae: Are there poisonous animals throughout the whole country?

Me: They are everywhere. They will attack you the moment you step off the plane.

Shae: Are you serious?

Me: Nah. In my whole life, I’ve only seen one snake. But that was one of the most venomous in the world. And I’ve seen a redback spider.

Shae: [Screams] How often do people get bit?

Me: Not very often.

Shae: Where are they at? Are they in the jungle, not in the cities?

Me: There are these funnelweb spiders. You find them in Sydney. They can bite through your fingernail.

Shae: [Screams.]

Me: You might be able to find them in a backyard. It’d be a bit strange if a snake dropped out of the ceiling while you were on stage.

Shae: [Screams high pitched]. Yo, listen man. My fear for snakes man, is honestly beyond belief. I can’t even watch TV without getting creeped out and thinking there’s something under my bed and shit.