gaypak

Is it just Australia that has a lot of homosexual related packaging?
This sticker was on my mandarin.

...and speaking of gay paks, if you're like me, sometimes you lack inspiration when illegally downloading tracks from peer-to-peer networks. Here are some places to start, especially if you're looking for a soundtrack for collecting welfare by.

Current List of Lumpen Music

The Ruler's Back - Slick Rick
The intro to this song cracks me up every time. "It is I, sire. Richard of Nottingham." Fucking brilliant. Listening to The Ruler's older stuff gives me a new appreciation for Outkast.
Signs feat. Justin Timberlake - Snoop Dogg
Every good lumpen likes their booty music and I am no exception. This song is greatest when you imagine dancing to it wearing your school shoes with snap-together tracksuit pants.
(I Just) Died In Your Arms Tonight - Cutting Crew
Jokes about ulti-mullets and ankle-length denim coats aside, this song has a weird effect on me. I remember hearing it as a kid and feeling that there was nothing but sincerity in Nick Van Eede's voice. The repetition in the lyrics seemed like a heartfelt lament. To my shame, this song has been on high rotation lately. Oh, and the only other songs with the same effect are 'The Lion Sleeps Tonight' by The Tokens and 'Believe It or Not' by Joey Scarbury (the theme song to The Greatest American Hero). True story.
Major Tom - The Space Lady
There is a chance that you are familiar with the original version of this song by Peter Schilling. Schilling's version is okay, but The Space Lady's version, well, it's so damn haunting. I kinda get the kitsch element, but the sadness in the song is really helped by TSL's outsider status.
Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft - The Carpenters
Another sci-fi song I've been getting into a lot. I reckon the Carpenters made the most perfect pop songs of all time. Fuck the Beatles - they made good songs, but they don't have the oddly ubiquitous quality of The Carpenters. Read the the lyrics of this song before you listen to it (if you haven't before) and set your faces to "stunned". Can you believe these words made an epic, infinitely listenable song? The words themselves are so cumbersome, but Karen Carpenter just sings them with ease. [Sigh].
We Will Become Silhouettes - The Shins
Another cover, this time of an electro band called The Postal Service, by my new favourite band, The Shins. Yet again, the contrast to the original couldn't be starker: The Shins break out the acoustic guitar and rock the hell out of this one. Well, it isn't rocking like Black Sabbath, but there is definately a rollicking quality that makes this one of my fav tunes at the moment. The alien voice in the track also reminds me of the "Ooolaaah" noise the aliens make in Jeff Wayne's War of the Worlds concept album. Yeesh. Gives me the shivers.
Rocky Racoon - The Beatles
I know I just bagged out the Beatles, but hear me out. A couple of months ago I went to out to karaoke with a couple of friends. We went to this dodgy place in Chinatown and were joined by another group, who were more friends of friends. This woman got up and did 'Rocky Racoon' and totally, totally blew everyone away. I can only begin to describe how well she did it. There was humour, ability, weird charleston dancing and a great haircut. Somebody mentioned she worked at St Jerome's. If you know her, tell her I want to be her friend solely based on that performance. And that performance is why I'm digging this song right now.
Selling the Drama - Live
Just kidding. I think I might have heard this song on the radio before. From the Throwing Copper album, this track became infamous in Australia because of the (misnamed) Snowtown murders. I just finished reading a book on the subject. The relentless tales of poverty and violence mixed with welfare bureaucracy and lumpen alienation make the story pretty compelling, especially from this blogger's point of view. Can you believe that people were tortured to this song?
Err, you probably can.
Honourable mentions:'22 Acacia Avenue' - Iron Maiden, 'Boob Scotch' - Bon Log III, 'Pie in the Sky' - Utah Phillips, 'Old Cape Cod' - Patti Page, 'Boy Named Sue' - Johnny Cash, 'Rich Girl' - Gwen Steffani, 'Tit 4 tat feat Pharrel' - Fabolous, 'Funk You Up' - George Clinton And The P-Funk Allstars, 'Say I Love You' Renee Geyer, 'Borderline' - Madonna, 'Voodoo Lady' - Ween, 'Aloha Steve and Danno' - Radio Birdman, 'What's My Name?' - Snoop Doggy Dogg, 'West Coast Poplock' - Ronnie Hudson, 'Running Up That Hill' - Kate Bush, 'Otto's Journey - Mylo, 'Six Minutes' - Dungeon Family, 'What U Sittin' On? (feat. Jemini, Cee Lo And Tha Alkaholiks)' - DJ Danger Mouse, 'You Could Be Mine' - Guns'n'Roses, 'Fix Up, Look Sharp' - Dizzee Rascal, 'Freedom of '76' - Ween, 'Superstar' - Sonic Youth, 'Goodbye Horses' - Q Lazzarus, 'The Sprout & The Bean' - Joanna Newsom, 'The Lost Art of Keeping a Secret' - Queens of the Stone Age, 'Mother' - Danzig, 'Tattooed Millionaire' - Bruce Dickenson, 'Street Talkin' (feat. Slick Rick)' - Outkast, ...........................This shit is bananas..........................B...A...N...A...N...A...S..................