music for tough lads II: electric fancy land
Having covered the bases on hair metal for the charity receptive (see post dated June 26), today I will display another option open to the would-be surly welfare recipient: gangster rap.
Ice T
Before Ice T was an internationally famous dramatic actor, he liked to "rhyme" about life in the "concrete jungle." This is gangster code for talking rhythmically over music about experiences in poor urban areas. The actual merit of Ice T's music is beside the point; he's as tough as fuck and he'll mess you up if you don't like him. By extension, his fans will mess you up if you don't like him. This is what started the 'Eastside versus Westside' battles in the early 1990s, aka 'The Gulf War.' The only way to not get messed up by Ice T's fans or by Ice T himself is to like his music.
Ice T can magically produce uzi machine guns that fire out of his eyes. What sounds like his voice on his albums is actually him slapping fake MCs with such precision that it sounds like words. But it isn't. It's him slapping folks.
He has a ponytail that will turn you into stone if you stroke it.
Public Enemy
The best thing about Public Enemy is the acid-wash trenchcoat that Flavor Flav wore in the 'Don't Believe the Hype' filmclip. Oh, and they can "rhyme".
Strictly speaking, Public Enemy aren't gangster rap, but I decided to include them anyway, because they have superpowers. Frontman Chuck D can do somersaults like nobody's business. He'll just be rapping away in the studio, then >BAM<, he'll pop a body roll before anyone knows what to do. He's crazy like that.
Flavor Flav can travel through time, as evidenced by the large clocks he wears around his neck.
Kool Keith
This is one of Kool Keith's rhymes from the Ultra Magnetic MCs album Critical Beatdown (1988):
Kool Keith is obviously a devotee of Bruce Lee's philosophy; "no style is style". His pace is like water: it can crash, it can flow. Put it in a cup and it becomes the cup. Put it in a teapot and it becomes the teapot. Put it in an arena with elite martial artists from around the globe and it'll kick you in the back of your head.
P.S. Hello Judy from Subway!
 |
You don't own me, fool. |
Before Ice T was an internationally famous dramatic actor, he liked to "rhyme" about life in the "concrete jungle." This is gangster code for talking rhythmically over music about experiences in poor urban areas. The actual merit of Ice T's music is beside the point; he's as tough as fuck and he'll mess you up if you don't like him. By extension, his fans will mess you up if you don't like him. This is what started the 'Eastside versus Westside' battles in the early 1990s, aka 'The Gulf War.' The only way to not get messed up by Ice T's fans or by Ice T himself is to like his music.
Ice T can magically produce uzi machine guns that fire out of his eyes. What sounds like his voice on his albums is actually him slapping fake MCs with such precision that it sounds like words. But it isn't. It's him slapping folks.
He has a ponytail that will turn you into stone if you stroke it.
 |
Time makes you crazy. |
Public Enemy
The best thing about Public Enemy is the acid-wash trenchcoat that Flavor Flav wore in the 'Don't Believe the Hype' filmclip. Oh, and they can "rhyme".
Strictly speaking, Public Enemy aren't gangster rap, but I decided to include them anyway, because they have superpowers. Frontman Chuck D can do somersaults like nobody's business. He'll just be rapping away in the studio, then >BAM<, he'll pop a body roll before anyone knows what to do. He's crazy like that.
Flavor Flav can travel through time, as evidenced by the large clocks he wears around his neck.
 |
He just said 'bitch'! |
This is one of Kool Keith's rhymes from the Ultra Magnetic MCs album Critical Beatdown (1988):
I'm ready
And now it's my turn to build
Uplift, get swift, then drift
Off... and do my own thing
Switch up
Change my pitch up
Smack my bitch up, like a pimp
For any rapper who attempt to wear Troop's
and step on my path
Kool Keith is obviously a devotee of Bruce Lee's philosophy; "no style is style". His pace is like water: it can crash, it can flow. Put it in a cup and it becomes the cup. Put it in a teapot and it becomes the teapot. Put it in an arena with elite martial artists from around the globe and it'll kick you in the back of your head.
P.S. Hello Judy from Subway!
posted by Lumpen at 7/16/2003 12:33:00 pm
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