i'm a soul boy! i'm a dole boy!
Jesus FUCK it's been a long time between posts. The new locale has meant that my internet access has been fairly restricted, but now I have a dial-up connection at least and should have broadband in the next couple of weeks. This should translate into more postings and maybe that podcast I've been promising to do for quite some time now.
The sad news is that my weekly column in The Brag was cancelled this week, along with every other column in the paper. They're being replaced with 15 pages of photographs of drunken hipsters. It was good while it lasted. I tried being like Hunter S. Thompson for the final ever column, so I got drunk by myself and tried writing. What came out was incoherent crap that I'm reluctant to post here. Maybe later, eh kids?
This entry I thought I'd give a report on my new Centrelink office.
I'm not completely unfamiliar with Brunswick Centrelink, my new local. I used to come here years ago when I lived in the area and was on Youth Allowance— obviously a different engagement with the remenants of the welfare state than receiving the Dole.
Compared to Windsor Centrelink (my old dole office), it's all negatives for Brunswick. The open space of the Brunswick office is filled with fake plants and a skewed layout. In my tour of Centrelinks in Victoria and NSW, I've observed that the various desks and reception points for different payments seems to be either entirely ad hoc or possibly tailored to local needs and circumstances.
The Brunswick Centrelink seems to have been put together with the idea of infuriating recipients and compounding the sense of insecurity. The wide open spaces of the office are filled with wandering people, many of whom are angry at having payments cut off, or intoxicated, or lost. There are a lot of arguments and aggressive posturing. Perhaps it would be giving the Department of Social Security too much credit to think that this is deliberate. Finding the desk you need to go to seems to be random luck or dependant on who is staffing it at the time.
The lines are much longer compared to Windsor, at least half an hour wait if you go in after 11am. If you go in after Jerry Springer, you probably wait for at least 45 minutes. An interesting aside is that the consistantly quickest Centrelink I've ever been to is Redfern (near a notorious ghetto in Sydney).
Brunswick is also massively understaffed. With so many people having difficulties with English, the process is slowed down even futher.
Holy shit, I listened to 'Wham Rap' by Wham! for the first time today. I had no idea that song was an anti-work anthem. It's like they're singing about me. Check out the lyrics:
Wham Rap
Hey everybody take a look at me,
I've got street credibility,
I may not have a job,
But I have a good time,
With the boys that I meet "down on the line"
I don't need you
So you don't approve,
Well, who asked you to?
Hey, jerk you work
This guy's got better things to do
Hell
I ain't never gonna work, get down in the dirt
I choose, to cruise
Gonna live my life, sharp as a knife
I've found my groove and I just can't lose
I'm style from head to toe
Cool cat flash gonna let you know
I'm a soul boy - I'm a dole boy -
Take pleasure in leisure, I believe in joy!
Chorus:
Wham!
Bam!
I am!
A man!
Job or no job
You can't tell me that I'm not
Do!
You!
Enjoy what you do?
If not
Just stop!
Don't stay there and rot!
Party nights, and neon lights
We hit the floors, we hit the heights
Dancing shoes, and pretty girls
Boys in leather kiss girls in pearls!
Hot - damn! everybody, let's play!
So they promised you a good job - no way!
One, two, three, rap!
C'mon everybody, don't need this crap!
Chorus
If you're a pub man
Or a club man
Maybe a jet black guy with a hip hi-fi
A white cool cat with a trilby hat
Maybe leather and studs is where you're at
Make the most of every day
Don't let hard times stand in your way
Give a wham give a bam but don't give a damn
'cos the benefit gang are gonna pay!
Now reach up high and touch your soul
The boys from wham! will help you reach that goal
It's gonna break your mama's heart (so sad)
It's gonna break your daddy's heart (too bad)
Just throw the dice and take my advice
'cos I know that you're smart
Can you dig this thing? (yeah!)
Are you gonna get down? (yeah!)
Say wham! wham!
Say bam! bam!
Chorus x3
Do you wanna work
Are you gonna have fun
Do you wanna be a jerk
Are you gonna stay young
Everybody say wham!
Say bam!
Everybody say wham!
Say wham! bam!
The sad news is that my weekly column in The Brag was cancelled this week, along with every other column in the paper. They're being replaced with 15 pages of photographs of drunken hipsters. It was good while it lasted. I tried being like Hunter S. Thompson for the final ever column, so I got drunk by myself and tried writing. What came out was incoherent crap that I'm reluctant to post here. Maybe later, eh kids?
This entry I thought I'd give a report on my new Centrelink office.
I'm not completely unfamiliar with Brunswick Centrelink, my new local. I used to come here years ago when I lived in the area and was on Youth Allowance— obviously a different engagement with the remenants of the welfare state than receiving the Dole.
Compared to Windsor Centrelink (my old dole office), it's all negatives for Brunswick. The open space of the Brunswick office is filled with fake plants and a skewed layout. In my tour of Centrelinks in Victoria and NSW, I've observed that the various desks and reception points for different payments seems to be either entirely ad hoc or possibly tailored to local needs and circumstances.
The Brunswick Centrelink seems to have been put together with the idea of infuriating recipients and compounding the sense of insecurity. The wide open spaces of the office are filled with wandering people, many of whom are angry at having payments cut off, or intoxicated, or lost. There are a lot of arguments and aggressive posturing. Perhaps it would be giving the Department of Social Security too much credit to think that this is deliberate. Finding the desk you need to go to seems to be random luck or dependant on who is staffing it at the time.
The lines are much longer compared to Windsor, at least half an hour wait if you go in after 11am. If you go in after Jerry Springer, you probably wait for at least 45 minutes. An interesting aside is that the consistantly quickest Centrelink I've ever been to is Redfern (near a notorious ghetto in Sydney).
Brunswick is also massively understaffed. With so many people having difficulties with English, the process is slowed down even futher.
Holy shit, I listened to 'Wham Rap' by Wham! for the first time today. I had no idea that song was an anti-work anthem. It's like they're singing about me. Check out the lyrics:
Wham Rap
Hey everybody take a look at me,
I've got street credibility,
I may not have a job,
But I have a good time,
With the boys that I meet "down on the line"
I don't need you
So you don't approve,
Well, who asked you to?
Hey, jerk you work
This guy's got better things to do
Hell
I ain't never gonna work, get down in the dirt
I choose, to cruise
Gonna live my life, sharp as a knife
I've found my groove and I just can't lose
I'm style from head to toe
Cool cat flash gonna let you know
I'm a soul boy - I'm a dole boy -
Take pleasure in leisure, I believe in joy!
Chorus:
Wham!
Bam!
I am!
A man!
Job or no job
You can't tell me that I'm not
Do!
You!
Enjoy what you do?
If not
Just stop!
Don't stay there and rot!
Party nights, and neon lights
We hit the floors, we hit the heights
Dancing shoes, and pretty girls
Boys in leather kiss girls in pearls!
Hot - damn! everybody, let's play!
So they promised you a good job - no way!
One, two, three, rap!
C'mon everybody, don't need this crap!
Chorus
If you're a pub man
Or a club man
Maybe a jet black guy with a hip hi-fi
A white cool cat with a trilby hat
Maybe leather and studs is where you're at
Make the most of every day
Don't let hard times stand in your way
Give a wham give a bam but don't give a damn
'cos the benefit gang are gonna pay!
Now reach up high and touch your soul
The boys from wham! will help you reach that goal
It's gonna break your mama's heart (so sad)
It's gonna break your daddy's heart (too bad)
Just throw the dice and take my advice
'cos I know that you're smart
Can you dig this thing? (yeah!)
Are you gonna get down? (yeah!)
Say wham! wham!
Say bam! bam!
Chorus x3
Do you wanna work
Are you gonna have fun
Do you wanna be a jerk
Are you gonna stay young
Everybody say wham!
Say bam!
Everybody say wham!
Say wham! bam!
posted by Lumpen at 4/02/2005 01:33:00 am
4 Comments:
geez, welcome back...thought this was a dead blog...glad it's not :)
Punk. As. Fuck. Signing on in the antipodes seems very similar to signing on in englishland, even down to two week giros. They do pipe the most peculiar music in don't they? Is it through those odd ceiling speakers that look like the tops of pepperpots?
By punkk as fuck I mean Wham Rap, perversely enough. Or possibly you as well, I dunno.
Good to hear from another connoisseur of Centrelink office layouts and queue physics.
My fave so far has been Darlinghurst (Sydney), which seemed bizarrely bereft of the usual hordes of GenX uni graduates that you get in inner Melb.
Instead, there was a queue comprised mainly of older men, who looked like extras from a retro crime flick starring Bryan Brown, all sitting on/in a conga-line of chairs. When the queue edged forward periodically, the chairs would move in unison too, like a demented children’s party game.
Post a Comment
<< Home