May 12, 2005

stella one 11

One day a history of bad ideas will be written, and somewhere, probably in the concluding chapter, there will be a paragraph or two dedicated to me.
Last year I had an interview with the very decent Australian group, Stella One 11. I thought it would be funny if I went incognito.
My alter ego was Helmut Face, a reviewer of computer games and friend to everyone. I started talking with Cindy, the singer of the group, who handed me to Genevieve (as in Genevieve Maynard,, a musician in her own right), who was so insanely pleasant it was hard to keep lying. She was very much into computer games. I was like, "Helmut would probably ask if she wants to ICQ. Don't do that. Damn, you should tell her you're bullshitting."
The moral of the story is, I came off as a total dick.


Helmut: What's your computer game about?

Cindy: Are you asking me? Stella One Eleven is a band.

H: I'm Helmut, the games reviewer. I think there's been some confusion. I've, uh, never done a band interview before. Can you hold on? [15 secs of silence] My editor says I just have to do it.

C: You should talk to Genevieve. She plays computer games for 8 hours a day. [To Genevieve] Hey Gen, you're gonna do this interview because this guy's never interviewed a band before and he's going to weave computer games questions into it.

Genevieve: Golly goulash. A real interview that's not about music. It's about something important.

H: Are you more into first-person shooters or platform games?

G: I'm actually into role-playing games at the moment.

H: Apparently there's a live action Pac Man movie being made. If Stella One Eleven were to do the soundtrack, what would it sound like?

G: I would suggest a Pac Man, hip hop r'nb fusion with a live guitar thrown on top of it.

H: What do you do at a live show that you don't do in the studio?

G: We do more acoustic shows live. We do it without the sequencing that runs the loops and electronic parts. It's good because I'm forced to play a different role and think how I'll play the songs acoustically.

The End.

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