extreme justice cops: the pitch

Dear Televisual Controllers,
My studies have demonstrated that programs involving police only make up 78% of the broadcast pulses processed by my television receiver. I believe that this percentage can be increased. Sirs and madams, please consider my “pitch” for a teleaudio communication.
Imagine you have just had your purse or fob watch stolen by a criminal on the business end of a bungee cord, thus evading apprehension and therefore justice. Who do you call? The Extreme Justice Cops.

Extreme Justice Cops Pilot: Net of Justice.
Five law enforcers are fed up by the lack of law and, to a lesser extent, order on today’s hard streets. There’s Joe (the veteran), Chips (the computer expert), Wong (martial artist), Miss Maggie (the sexy secretary) and Danny (the rookie). After playing paintball, which showcases their various talents, the crew meet back at the office.

LOCATION: Extreme Justice Office.
JOE [sipping coffee]: Dammit, I retire next week. I’m getting too old for this shit.
DANNY: Yo dude, I’m not going to sit here and push pencils. I joined the force for some action, not these [throws down yellow form] “yellow forms.”
CHIPS: You are a bothersome ignoramus. Meanwhile, my data suggests that we are missing some justice on the streets.
WONG: Heeya! Joe-san, you are like a father to me. Let us be like emaciated moths and go to injustice like it was some kind of mystical flame. Heeya!
MAGGIE [sitting on desk]: Sounds like you boys could do with my help. Let me answer this call. [Picks up ringing phone] Antonio Mafioso just made bail. Sounds like he needs to meet…
ALL: Extreme Justice Cops!
WONG: Heeya!

The EJC decide that it’s time to put the criminals behind bars… extreme bars.They build their own secret prison, guarded by Chips’ robots, to house the criminals who evade justice and away from the do-gooders in the Justice Department. “Extreme crime,” says Joe, “needs extreme justice!” The following scenes take place after an inspirational montage of building the secret prison.

LOCATION: The Docks at night.
DANNY: That’s far enough, Mafioso.
MAFIOSO: You can’t touch me, copper. I got a lawyer.
JOE [holding up unconscious lawyer]: You mean this scumbag?
MAFIOSO: Nooo! [Pulls out switchblade] Let’s dance, pigs.
JOE [into wristwatch]: Now Chips! Now!
A flying robot drops a net on MAFIOSO
MAFIOSO: This won’t hold me long! I got rights!
WONG: Yiyiyiyi! You have the right to remain silent, dishonourable sir! [Kicks MAFIOSO in the eye. MAFIOSO goes unconcious]
JOE [shaking head]: Will they ever learn? Take him away, robot. [ROBOT takes MAFIOSO].
JOE: In my twenty years on the force I’ve learned to follow my instincts. Retirement be damned. My gut tells me that the streets need more justice.
DANNY [stepping forward]: Yeah dude. Extreme justice.
MAGGIE [Appearing from behind shipping container. Applies lipstick]: Did someone say our middle name?
ALL: [laugh hysterically then high five. Wong does flying kick. Freeze-frame as they all jump into air.]
Fade to black. End theme song: ‘Suddenly’ by Angry Anderson.